they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
