Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
