Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
