You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
