I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
