I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
