you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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