Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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