dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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