I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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