Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
