3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
