Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
