With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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