I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
