WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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