I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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