Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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