so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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