he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
