i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
