is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
