I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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