sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize