Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
