Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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