handjob tips. give me some.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
