All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
