He is an equal opportunity slut.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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