I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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