drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
