I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
