you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize