Come see our sink grown plant.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
