if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she smelled like a LAN party
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think my moral compass just broke
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