Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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