I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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