Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
