I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize