Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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