I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
