My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize