I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
