oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
