he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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