yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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