youre lurking in front of me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
