Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
