He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
and eventually we just all took our pants off
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
