Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
