I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
