We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
