just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
