i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
