Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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