I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
