why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
