Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
barbara walters just said penis...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
