yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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