I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
