you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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