You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
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I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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