I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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