It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
